Best Friends Forever!

To My Dearest Cousin Lucy,

I apologize that I haven't written sooner - it was just a couple days ago that I was able to coordinate my thoughts via my brain circuitry development schedule, or else this would have been sent a long time ago.  Plus my mom and dad are having Wi-Fi troubles with their stupid wireless router so I don't always have the best connection.

Anywho, just wanted to touch base with you. So I guess we're cousins? I've always wanted a cousin, ever since I was conceived about 18 weeks ago. It's just always been a dream of mine.  I can imagine that we'll have some good times together. I started thinking, what if Lucy doesn't like me, but then I recognized how ridiculous that sounded seeing how everyone likes my dad...and I am very much my father's son.   But enough about me and my irresistible charm that exudes even from the womb.  Let's talk about you.

First off, you're gorgeous. Which is great for you but, think about how this will work...say we're hanging out at the mall or something and we're walking around together like besties and then I'm trying to hit on girls but they're all thinking that you're my GF and it will just scare them off.  I have to think about these things.

Here's a preview:

LUCY

RUSSELL

See I mean, it really is going to be a good time. I figure we can take turns terrorizing other cousins or maybe our own younger brothers or sisters.

At any rate, we're gonna be "Power Cousins", I just coined that phrase. I hear you're gettin' out of here soon, like in the next week or so. I still have another 5 months or so, but I might get out a couple weeks early for good behavior. My dad got out over a month early, he must have been really great.

Anyway, I love you so much and we haven't even met yet.



Your Cousin Always,

Russel James Baumgartner