Your Mom Is HOT!

Dear Little Baby Baum,

Get used to this phrase, "Your mom is HOT!". It's gonna happen frequently and it's something you need to be prepared for. There are several ways to react when this phrase comes up. The first would be to just say "I know". The second would be a stern warning to your friend to back off and letting him know that your dad is a black belt in Karate, whether it's true or not is not the point. This tactic is called "deflection". The third and arguably the most controversial would be a simple slap in the face.

The bottom line is this is how Hot your mom is...at 6 months pregnant. It's not going to get any better when she's not craving ice cream and french fries. it's only going to get worse for you, my little friend.

Your Mom - HOT!

How do you think it is for me when I have to deal with "you're with HIM?!" questions all the time. It's not easy but to make it through you just have to remind yourself that Hot Mom/Wife = less waiting in line, larger samples at Costco, free stuff occasionally, and a few more minutes waiting for mom to get ready before going out.

I would encourage you to feel proud about how beautiful your mom is and to hope and pray that you are able to marry someone as pretty or even close. I can give you some tips mostly that have to do with playing the guitar, being able to cook, and an unparallelled sense of humor and wit.

I love you little guy.

Love,

Dad

4 Months and You're a Baumgartner (Officially)

Dear Little Baby Baum,

I know you'll probably end up being President of the United States, so I'll make sure there is no question about your birthplace when we fill out your birth certificate. I am pretty excited about the fact that you've been kicking your mom hard enough so that I can feel you from the outside. Your first kick that I felt was during the movie "Nacho Libre", which is a great omen, I think.

I guess what I wanted to say this time is that I love you. There aren't enough cool words to express this, but I have a feeling you'll be able to tell from the moment I hold you in my arms. Your mother loves you too just as much, your sister Maggie is already a little jealous.  Every time I kiss your mom's belly she will get in between us and bite my ears.  That's her way of saying "Relax Dad, you can be obsessed with him when he gets here."

I woke her up. Look how annoyed she looks!

Maggie still sleeps with us, and growls at us if we move around too much...actually your mom does the same thing. I on the other hand, sleep through anything and everything...even my alarm sometimes...but I don't like to talk about it.

So, keep growin' little man! I once went 6 months without having thai food...I can wait 4 months for my firstborn...but, it will be just as tough...well, it will be close. Jk...but seriously. GET HERE! (but not too fast).

Love,

Dad