Prayer

I felt like I needed to write this because the more ups and downs Coley and I go through with this pregnancy the more I am driven to my knees; and the more I pray the more I come to realize the impact of prayer in my life. 

I remember my dad talking to me about prayer when I was a teenager, and how believers are to go “boldly” before God in times of need.  Hebrews 4:16 “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”  The word “boldly” has always created a mental image for me of a guy that’s not sufficed with setting an appointment, he just barges through doors, that house Christ and His throne, with desperation.  A relationship like Christ had with his disciples. I picture myself busting through those doors, carrying my wife to the throne of grace, and pleading with God to hold Coley and our little baby.  James adds that God is ready to pour blessings on us abundantly and that He “upbraideth not”, he doesn’t get annoyed with our constant prayers!  The greater the amount of conversation (prayer), the more relevant and timely, the more we will see and feel the impact.

Our relationship with God, I’m realizing, is not dissimilar to our relationships with our family and friends. It takes spending time with one another in REAL conversation (or a similar affinity for the University of Oregon), to develop those bonds with friends and family. I will be the first to admit my prayers have a tendency to be about just giving thanks or blessing food; a superficial conversation with a God who wants to go so much deeper. I believe he wants to talk.  He wants to know that WE want to have a relationship that goes beyond question/answer, asking/receiving, and giving thanks. I want God to know when I’m scared, when I’m hurting, when I’m happy, when I’m laughing. I want God to be the first person I “call” when good things happen. I want to be able to spend some time with just Him and me. 

There have been so many times where Coley and I have been scared and anxious and each and every time God has come through.  Our hope is that His will and our will continue to be the same.  I’m so thankful to have married into such a caring family. I’m thankful for all of the support that Coley has received, and all the prayers. For me it took a feeling of complete helplessness, and the reality that I would do anything and everything that I can, to realize that God just wants me to trade all of that fear in, in exchange for a relationship with Him.